Scarecrow vs Joker
by squeekafu
Summary: The Scarecrow tries to rid himself of the Joker once and for all, but the Clown Prince of Crime has some other ideas...
1. Go out with a Bang

A huge explosion sounded behind him as he walked away. Soot fell on his burlap shirt, and he brushed it off nonchalantly. He thought that he had finally gotten rid of his foe for good, until, out of nowhere, a heavy projectile hit him in the back and he tumbled to the ground. He looked up just as a pair of black shoes landed in front of his face.

"You missed," came a singsong voice from above the shoes. Scarecrow's eyes looked up, following the purple pants and jacket to the painted white face with its bright red grin. Scarecrow reached up and sprayed Joker in the face with his infamous fear gas. He sprang up and ran, leaving that clown laughing hysterically behind him.

* * *

Why doesn't my fear gas work on him? Scarecrow thought angrily to himself. It wasn't the first time he had wondered this, and somehow he knew that it wouldn't be the last. He took off his mask and tossed it on to his bed, trying to figure out the answer. He had already modified his concoction twice, and his supplies were becoming limited.

He plopped himself down in his rickety wooden chair and held his head in his hands. He sighed, then stood and pulled off his shirt. Stepping in to his bathroom, he turned on his shower. He waited for the dirty water to sputter out and turn in to clear water. Even though he had the knob set to hot, the water was cold. It was a common occurrence, not worthy of any extra thought. He stepped in and began his regular shower routine.

A brief depression settled over him. He recalled his days before being the Scarecrow, back when he was just Dr. Jonathan Crane. All of that was different now. There was no way he could become a professor again. Not after Arkham.

* * *

The Joker jumped up from his crouch by the boarded up window of Jonathan's rundown apartment. Now that he knew where the Scarecrow's hideout was, he could continue to play his little jokes on him. Little Scarecrow thought his fear gas to be unbeatable, and Joker thought it highly amusing that the straw man's own invention had no effect on him. He clapped his hands in glee as he thought of all the possibilities that his newfound knowledge opened up to him. He peeked again through the gap between the wooden boards just as the tall, lanky Jonathan disappeared into his tiny bathroom. Then he skipped off, dropping his exploding marbles as he went.  
_

A/N: I'm not sure how long it will be, and I'm sort of making it up as I go along. Reviews, criticisms, and comments are welcome and encouraged.


	2. Chapter 2

Jonathan awoke before dawn the next morning with a headache and a cramp in his leg. He sat up and stretched a little, putting the previous day's events out of his mind. He sat in his wooden chair, the only one that he owned, and pulled it up to his tiny desk. His notes were written in a notebook, some of them neatly written out and others scrawled like a madman. Reviewing them for what seemed like the thousandth time, he tried to put his past failures out of his head and focus on concocting a fear gas that would be effective on the Joker. Something told him that it could never be accomplished, and to save his supplies. Nevertheless, he constantly thought about it.

* * *

"Puddin', it's time to wake up!" The Joker felt someone gently shaking him, and he rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. Harley put her hands on her hips. "Come on, Mr. J! You made me promise to wake you up early today so you could go play!" She grabbed one of his arms and pulled.

Something clicked in Joker's head and he immediately sat up, a huge grin on his face. The sudden movement caused Harley to temporarily lose her balance, but she quickly regained her composure. "What's so important that you have to be up this early, anyway?" she asked indignantly. She was used to the Joker keeping specific plans from her, but she smelled something fishy this time and she didn't like it.

"Harley, we're going farming," the Joker told her with a devilish smirk.

* * *

Jonathan arrived at his childhood home, if it could be called that, just as the sun was beginning to rise. He did all of his best thinking there, and he hoped it would help him once again. As he was walking through the old abandoned house to his former room, he heard a window shut. He raised his eyebrows and looked around, his guard up now up. He hid in the shadows, waiting for the intruder to show his face.

Footsteps could be heard from Jonathan's hiding place, and he pressed himself further in to the shadows. He heard voices, and concluded that there were multiple intruders. He prepared his fear gas canister, making sure it was securely strapped to his arm.

"Wowee, look at the size of this place!" came a feminine voice. He recognized it, but couldn't quite remember where he'd heard it from before. Just then, someone in a red and black outfit skipped out from one of the upstairs rooms. When she got in to the hallway, she spun around several times and leaned on the railing, looking at the main entry hall below her. Jonathan immediately recognized her as Harley Quinn. He scowled, knowing that Joker must be here, too.

As if on cue, the Clown Prince of Crime's voice came ringing from the room. "Yes, sugar. We're going to see what our little straw brains is doing up here all the time."

Harley turned and looked back in to the room, putting her weight on the old wooden railing once more. She was about to say something else when the wood cracked, and she jumped forward. "Gee, Mr. J. How old do you suppose this place is?"

"Probably about twice as old as our little scarecrow," he replied, finally walking out of the room like he owned the place. He stepped up to the railing where Harley had been leaning on it and looked at where the wood was beginning to splinter. He pulled back a foot and kicked at it, and wood pieces went flying.

Laughing to himself, the Joker continued to travel down the platform and went in to the next room. Jonathan could hear him poking around, and then he left that one to go to the next. Jonathan knew that the next door in the Joker's path would be his old bed room. He did not want that green haired cretin in there, so while the clown was occupied in his current room, Jonathan dashed in to his. He stood in the door way, waiting for his intruder.

* * *

It didn't take long for the Joker to finish in the other room. As soon as it was ransacked to his liking, he practically danced to the next door. Not expecting there to be someone blocking his entry, much less Jonathan Crane himself, the Joker stopped short. He flashed a huge grin at him and said, "Johnny! It's a pleasure to see you again. I see your little bomb didn't hurt you, either."

Jonathan scowled at his self proclaimed enemy, wishing his Scarecrow suit was on instead of in his bag. Harley heard their one sided conversation and decided to see who the Joker was talking to. She walked over, and upon seeing the other man standing there she smiled just as widely as Mr. J was grinning.

"Gee whiz, we didn't expect you to be here!" she exclaimed gleefully.

Jonathan thought about the carnage that the Joker and his hyper companion no doubt had caused in his house. He was furious at them. He'd come to think, and now he was only getting annoyed. He knew that a puff full of fear gas would be ineffective against Joker, but his bouncing red and black side kick was a different story.

In one lightning fast motion, he extended an arm towards the girl and had sprayed her in the face with his toxic concoction. She reeled back and doubled over, shrieking at something that only she could see. When she fell over, curled on the floor, the Joker peeled his eyes from his writhing companion and stared at Jonathan.

"Aw, come on, that wasn't really necessary, was it?" he chided.

Jonathan crossed his arms over his chest, glared at the purple fiend, and let silence be his answer.

"Hmm, not as talkative as usual, are we?" the Joker chided.

Jonathan scowled and said darkly, "Get out of my house."

"As incredibly dull as that sounds, I can't just leave little Harley there on the floor."

The Scarecrow did a mental face palm. He felt bad enough about spraying Harley with his gas, especially since she was usually nice to him. But now the Joker had a legitimate reason to stay. Shaking his head, he asked in a slightly more civil tone, "What are you doing here?"

The Joker brightened up, though he never really was down in the first place. "I'm glad you asked, Johnny! Harl and I have come to find out what makes you tick. Why you're always coming up here, and why you never stay once you actually get here." He looked around, and then leaned in toward Jonathan as if to tell a secret and said, "Besides, I thought it might be fun to ransack the place."

Despite being incredibly old, the house was in pretty good condition. Sure, it was a bit run down, but that was only due to time and a bit of neglect. To be completely honest with himself, Jonathan was surprised that it was still standing. With the Joker there, he knew that it might not remain so for much longer.


End file.
